


Normal Is What Works For You

by sophoklesworld



Category: Leverage
Genre: Ace!Parker, Aro!Parker, Ficlet, Multi, Parker Being Parker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 19:54:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5639920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sophoklesworld/pseuds/sophoklesworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Parker never really understood love. Until she found something that worked for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Normal Is What Works For You

Parker wasn’t good with feelings.

Mostly because she didn’t learn about feelings as a child.

And now, well now, she didn’t understand them. Didn’t know how to act on them.

It was always normal for her, and she was happy just jumping off buildings and stealing diamonds.

There was no one who made her feel anything but a desire to leave, to get a save distance between her and anyone who could potentially harm her or trap her.

Parker sometimes observed couples in the park and wondered, what it would feel like. What it felt like, to have someone to laugh with. And she imagined what love felt like. But she just couldn't grasp the concept of it.

Rationally, she understood, that it was about liking a person with so much passion that you want to spend the rest of your life with them. But then again, this sounded like a cage. Parker liked small spaces, but not when she was trapped.

 

Even though she didn’t learn what feelings meant, as a child, she sometimes couldn't help but think that it should be easy to fall in love nonetheless.

She only ever felt something that she interpreted as love, once. People always ever described it as butterflies. Parker just felt sick. Butterflies, they were what she felt when she jumped off buildings. A rush of adrenaline and fun and the moment of weightlessness. But what she had felt in these few days, was the buzzing of a name in her head, and the growling of her stomach, that caused a loss of appetite and crushing hunger simultaneously. And made her whole body throw a tantrum. It felt like she was in danger. Like she could fall down and break her heart, but also like she could fly high. It felt like she left the safety of her vents, when she preferably had stayed there forever. It was an insecurity that never hit her when she jumped off literal buildings. And she hated it.

So she tried and succeeded in banishing the name from her head, and the growling of her stomach. It was annoying and hadn’t helped her concentrate when picking a lock anyway. She felt saver, after she had left. She was alone, and she was happy because she was save.

 

But then, Nate came around. And everything changed.

She never had been able to trust easily. But she could tell, that they didn’t either. All of them had their baggage. Tales and scars that left painful memories.

Somehow, they managed to stay together.

They all started to trust again. Because they believed in the loyalty of their team. After watching them help all those people, without ever wanting something in return. Without any of them turning their back to strangers, that asked for help. Even if the situation got out of hand. And none of them ever left Parker behind.

So Parker started to trust. After a while she felt a tingling sensation in her stomach when she looked at Hardison excitedly talking about a computer he hacked, or watching Eliot cook or threaten Hardison. It wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been that one time. It was more pleasant.

After a while, it subsided again. She was glad about that. Because now, she was content. Content when she looked at them. Content when Hardison threw an arm around her shoulders, when they where watching TV. Content when Eliot let her taste the food before it was ready. Content when she saw them kiss. She wasn’t jealous. But she wanted to be a part of this. Not with the kissing. She just didn’t want it to be a ‘they’ but an ‘us’. And she thought she could have as much. Because cuddling was what they were already doing, and she didn’t want much more. She just didn’t want to feel left out. And when they got to do the whole sex stuff with each other, maybe Eliot and Hardison would be up for the only cuddling and maybe kissing with her.

 

And because she was who she was, she said as much.

 

Of course, Eliot and Hardison knew, what she meant. They always did. And they embraced her, and didn’t let go for a long time. Because that what was Parker needed, and wanted and they wanted it too.

They told Parker, they loved her. And that was okay for her. She loved them, too. In her own way. She loved them because they were loyal. And they didn’t leave her. They didn’t make fun of her, and they gave her what she needed. She became a part of an ‘us’.

Where she got to live her beautiful patch-work family. Slept in a bed with her always fighting boyfriends, wedged in the middle. Where she got to hunt down bad guys together with her best friends and kind-of lovers. Where she got to cuddle and be happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This was just floating through my mind, and I hope you like it!


End file.
